My husband and I had been called into a school meeting with teachers and the principle The news was that my son was having more pronounced emotional problems and was shutting down, refusing to do homeowrk and etc......... It went very well and I called and set up a meeting with a counselor( a new one because my insurance changed and the last one was more worried if my son was abused and maybe that was what was going on.......no lady its not.) Well I think God placed me with a new counselor- my son had one of his meltdowns- the counselor saw it, talked to him and watched him. When we went inside he asked if I had heard of aspergers? Well yes, I am a nurse but not real familiar with it...he took our history and family history and here was my BOMBSHELL he said your son has the hallmark signs of aspergers. My head said WHAT? my heart cried so hard. All the signs were there, change hurts, the emotions that are not age appropriate, the weird looks at times, smells sounds bother him, won't talk to some kids and my list is growing and growing and GROWING. God, my son is different, WHY????????????????? WHY??????????????????????????????????????????? I was married for 10 years before we had kids, I was thinking of adopting. My mother found out she had breast cancer 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. He was my gift from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Do you hear me??????????????????
Then the crying came- not in front of my son though- my eyes hurt my mascara came down my face like a river of black tar. My heart hurt so bad...........
Then a calm came, not sudden, but came slowly. Tears slowly drying up. Fingers typing out aspergers on the computer, reading began.
I have just started this journey with my precious son, but I will not let him down. I refuse. He is my gift from God and yes he is different, but he is perfectly different. God picked me for some reason to have this child and I will not let God down in my rearing of his child.
We have ways to go and this begins our journey.
